Our weekend jet-away to Las Vegas literally began as a “free” trip. As in, I received a post card in the mail that read:
Fly FREE anywhere in the continental United States + 2 nights hotel= 2 night, 3 day FREE vacation!
You would think, savvy traveler that I pretend to be, I would know better. But the allure of free travel hijacked my sensibilities. Here’s a quick rundown on what I dragged myself and my family through to achieve this free trip:
- Drive 3 hours roundtrip to east Portland hotel and listen to 90 minute timeshare pitch with the kids.
- Filled out paperwork and sent certified mail with a $100 cashier’s check to a travel agency in Florida.
- Attempted booking a trip to Palm Springs but missed the 90 day planning window.
- Decided to “surprise” Jason with an anniversary trip to Vegas, but he saw the deposit on the credit card.
- Countless emails back and forth with Scott Tilley from VIP Travel to wrap my head around how this would actually happen.
- We did get flights booked on Spirit Air (will never fly them again!) and 2 nights at Tuscany Inn & Suites (which did exceed our expectations) but still had to pay a hefty fee.
- Attended mandatory 2nd timeshare presentation (that was closer to 3 hours) while in Vegas for a different timeshare – in order to get our deposit refunded.
- Our “free trip” eventually shook out as a “half-price” trip….and a mammoth travel lesson – ironically, I read this article in my National Geographic Traveler magazine on the plane ride home! See #6 towards the end of the article!
Honestly, I’m laughing now….because this all transpired from October 2011-August 2012. Maybe I was too embarrassed to write about it till now!
The City of Lights? Nope, Glitter Gulch, aka Las Vegas.
Anyway, Las Vegas was a blast, literally a sizzlin’, scorching, superlative escape from real life. When we stepped off the plane at 9:00 a.m., the 95 degree heat swirled around us like a clothes dryer.
After a quick cab ride to the hotel, we grabbed some breakfast using our complimentary food voucher (remember, this post is how to enjoy Vegas at the bargain-basement level!)
Since we couldn’t check in yet, and it took about 2 minutes to lose $5.00 on the slots, the logical way to kill time and stay cool was park ourselves poolside. The pool was actually spacious, clean, and resort-ish. Everyone at the pool had tattoos taking up more bodily real estate than I’ve seen in my entire life. We practically glowed white with our Oregonian, ink-free epidermis.
The Tuscany Inn & Suites pool area.
I pored over the literature I picked up in the hotel lobby, searching for free and/or budget entertainment. The desk clerk informed us it would take at least 25 minutes to walk to the Strip. But according to the brochure (super-accurate, for sure) map, the Tuscany Inn was just a block and a half from the Strip. Of course, I surmised we could walk there in 15 or less.
The “sky” at the Bellagio’s botanical gardens.
About 6:00 we set out to get our glam on. The towering casinoes and glitzy hotels reigned over the skyline, seemingly so close. But this was the desert, and it was a mirage. Within 20 minutes we weren’t close, and hunger, thirst, and perspiration slugged us down.
And then – the sign. $1.00 Michelobs and $2.50 hot dog and Bud! It was clutch decision time. The opportunity to sit in the A/C, nurse a cold one, and nibble on junk food was too good to pass up.
We bellied up to the bar, played some Keno, and quenched our parched throats. Jason ordered the dog, and I noshed on baked waffle fries which were completely tantalizing. The bar was great for people-watching – you got the idea that lots of people there dropped by after work. It was probably obvious we weren’t regulars but no one cared.
Summer sunset on The Strip.
Refueled, we powered our way to the Strip. Our free entertainment destination was the Fountains of Bellagio at some point.
(It had been 19 years since my last visit to Las Vegas. In my college days I could make $20 last a whole weekend, outside of lodging.The $3 black jack tables at O’Shea’s and Barbary Coast were my lucky casinos and I don’t really remember eating a whole lot – maybe a $4.99 buffet here and there? If anyone could do Vegas affordably, I could – at least in the early 1990’s!)
The sheer monstrosity, cackling energy, and number of new casinos was unbelievable. Millions of lights, colors, aromas, and sounds enveloped us in a multi-sensory experience.
Like Times Square on steroids. We wandered, marinating in the flashy dazzle, and watching street performers like double jointed guy, storm troopers, the miniature Jackson 5, and Bert & Ernie & Elmo, and of course, Elvis.
We soon learned that street cocktails aren’t cheap, and I savored my $15 margarita as we listened to The Crashers – an 80’s metal cover band – belt out Bon Jovi and Def Leppard songs.
This was way more fun than trying to find our footing in the Bellagio. We couldn’t get a seat at dinner because Jason didn’t meet the dress code (guys have to be wearing long pants) and the free drinks while you’re gambling are a myth unless you have a mountain of chips staking your place. We figured out the cocktail servers ignore the slot players – or maybe you have to sit there long enough for your tush to meld into the stool.
One bright spot – the Bellagio’s botanical gardens are gorgeous and that was a lovely respite from the heat.
And – the star of the show, the Fountains of Bellagio delivered on every level and then some! The booming blasts of compressed air rocketed the glowy water skyward to music, technically choreographed. There are 1,214 jets responsible for the soaring water that twists and transforms into lithe “dancing.”
The magnificent Fountains of Bellagio.
Astounding – and romantic. I insisted we wait and watch it again. This time, Elton John crooned “Can you feel the love tonight?” – one of our wedding songs. Very appropriate for our 17th anniversary, don’t you think?
We probably walked 5-6 miles that first night so more chill-axing by the pool was in order the next day. Except for the stupid timeshare presentation -‘nuff said.
Our second night we strategized our route to take in more free entertainment: the Mirage Volcano, Fall of Atlantis, and Venetian Light Show. Luckily, the Mirage and Venetian are basically across the street from one another.
Replica of the Rialto Bridge at The Venetian.
Although we learned the hard way it’s impossible to cross the street whenever you want. Instead, you need to walk a block or more to find a sky bridge. More terrific vistas – The Eiffel Tower! The Empire State Building!
The Mirage Volcano “erupts” nightly and includes fireworks and music pumping. Worth the effort, for the most part.
The Mirage Volcano
Personally, I loved all the action at the Venetian – the masks, stilt walkers, living statues, and life-size puppets – a magical pre-game for the light show. Venice, Italy is one of my favorite European cities, so maybe that bias added to my enchantment.
We underestimated how long it would take to hoof it to Caesar’s Palace, home to the Fall of Atlantis show. And we also didn’t realize it was just a 15 minute show – so we missed it, and it was the last one of the night. Bummer!
Well, it led us to Max Brenner, a chocolate restaurant conveniently located steps away. Besides the chocolate shop, the inventive menu incorporates chocolate in many dishes.
“Taste our chocolate with all your senses and enjoy to the MAX!” – painting at Max Brenner.
Mmm-a decadent chocolate martini!
My blackened sesame halibut and chocolate martini was unsurpassed by any meal the whole weekend! A grand way to indulge our last night in the city of excess.
Take-aways from Vegas:
- Yes, there are cheap ways to find entertainment. You can cut costs even more if you don’t drink or splurge at meals – but where’s the fun in that?
- Do not fly Spirit Air (they charge for carry-ons, too) – lots of airlines offer reasonable flights to Vegas.
- Las Vegas is a melting pot of cultures, nationalities, ages, and languages. It’s become a world-wide destination. Pieces of our weekend reminded me of Hong Kong and Singapore – a familiar, strangely comfortable feeling.
Evidence of LV’s international draw: women’s restroom sign in 6 languages!
- The Tuscany Inn (and other off-strip hotels) can offer nice accommodations and good value.
Our room at the Tuscany Inn & Suites. Not too shabby!
But if you don’t want to walk, the cab rides could add up. (Besides airport transportation, we only took a cab from New York, New York back to the Tuscany to grab our bags and catch our flight.)
- Vegas is truly “glitter gulch” – ostentatious, outlandish, oozing glamour, excess, and desperation, despondence. It’s quite the dichotomy.
And it can ignite the wild side of the average Joe. While we were in line for security, several people were passing around a gallon-size bottle of Jack Daniels….even strangers were taking pulls to finish it off!
Sheryl Crow’s “Leaving Las Vegas” echoed in my mind as we boarded the plane. She won’t be back – but hopefully I will in less than 19 years!
Experiential Passage 